Finding Joy
Whitewater Hill Winery with friends Roger, Laurie, Kim (me), Michelle and Bob
It’s now been over a month since Andy’s stroke. The emotional roller coaster has been a ride I will not easily forget. I can honestly say I’ve never experienced such a low point in my life as I have this past month. Being hopeful has been anything but easy and remaining positive has been tough. That said, I’ve decided it is time to find joy. Being sad for so long, truly sucks the life out of your soul and that certainly is not helpful to Andy, and it is not healthy for me. It is time I turn the corner and find my way back to me.
I’ve been told numerous times to not loose myself in all this chaos. I was lost for a time I felt like I ceased to exist as all my focus was on Andy and supporting him, being positive for him, loving him, being strong for him and taking on the roles he previously did around the house and farm. I gladly stepped to the plate not realizing the true weight of the task, after all, I am WOMAN hear me roar… That said, the weight was heavy and even as resilient as I know I can be, I felt and feel the pressure. This is where finding joy is an absolute must as with it will come more strength and positivity both of which I need right now so I can soldier on for Andy and for me.
What is joy? For me, it’s a quiet cup of coffee in the morning, sitting out on our patio listening to the multitude of birds, or neighbor’s rooster and the whistle of the Palisade train as it rumbles through our little town. It is watching the sun rise over the Grand Mesa and surveying all that Andy and I have accomplished over the course of a year and a half on the farm. That is a joyful early morning…
As the day progresses, working in the garden, and turning my vision into a reality brings me joy. Andy says I can’t sit still, and he is so right! Being productive either in the garden or in the studio fills my soul with energy and joy. I’ve always said, “life is too short”, boy don’t I know it now. There will come a time when being still is all my body can do, but for now being creative and active, productive and working hard around our property brings me great satisfaction and joy! It’s not work; it is fuel for my passion to create something beautiful for people to enjoy.
By people, I mean our community. I love Palisade, its loving and caring community is like none other I’ve ever known. The people and friends Andy and I have met within the last year and a half are amazing! Their kindness, fun loving wit and shared interests of life are wonderful. Being a part of this community and spending time with our friends brings me (and Andy) great joy! All this combined is joyful living and I’m determined to find my way back to it, one joyful moment at a time.
